A case of the headcase.
by Christine on May 17th, 2011
filed under Christine's Life Updates, General Information
Today I was browsing through some three-year-old journal posts (for those of you that don’t know, I have an online forum here if you’re interested in joining) and came across this lovely “before” picture. This is about three years old now.
Look at that sad little fatty face of mine! And I remember that pink shirt, too. I liked it so much. It was a 1XL and it was tight on me. I also remember when I could finally throw that one in the “too big” bin. Here’s another picture, more recent, this time wearing a Size 2 dress. What a difference with my chin! Oh, that laser eye surgery sure made a difference, too.
A case of the headcase
One thing that struck me as I was re-reading my old posts is that…well, I frequently suffer from a case of being a headcase. I have a tendency to over-exaggerate problems, create problems based on getting stressed out and worse-case-scenario-fearing, which just leads to more stress and fear, which leads to more stress and fear…
It’s a really rotten cycle. And I have no doubt that it has an impact on my weight, relationship with food, not to mention my mental health.
I’ve been in a real headcase cycle lately, and it is well past time to snap out of that. Instead of fearing the worst, I’m going to celebrate all the good things in life that exist CURRENTLY. Instead of exaggerating problems I’ll think of solutions. Instead of lamenting past problems, I will look to a bright and happy future. Starting now.
Do you ever work yourself into a headcase tizzy? How do you get yourself out of it?
How my eating has changed!
A review of my old posts were interesting from a food point of view now, too. Before, three years ago, when I was gaining weight at a rate of 5-10 pounds per week, I would:
- Starve or have limited calories (500, say) one day, and have a lot of calories (2200, say) the next, for a wildly inconsistent eating pattern.
- Drink a lot of alcohol. Every day, and perhaps 3-6 drinks a day.
- Ate more carbs than I do now, which is quite a bit I suppose.
- Ate a lot of healthy, full-of-vegetable meals.
- I drank diet soda like it was water.
These days my eating could use improvement in terms of adding more healthy vegetables into my choices, but overall my new eating differs from my old eating because:
- I eat a consistent amount of calories, every day, usually 800-1000 calories per day.
- I still enjoy alcohol, but I drink a lot less apparently. Instead of 3-6 drinks every day, I might have 1-2 drinks, maybe 2 times a week. A drink a lot more beer now, too, as opposed to martinis.
- I eat a lot fewer carbs because of my gastric band. I eat a lot more high-fat foods like fish, almonds, avocados, and even a limited amount of chocolate. However, I seriously limit my portion sizes with these high-fat foods.
- I drink water like water, and drink diet soda as a special treat, maybe once per week.
I just thought the differences were interesting.
If Current Christine could meet Past Christine and share these differences with her….would it have helped Past Christine lose weight? Could I have prevented the need for gastric banding surgery?
Honestly, I don’t know that I would want to change me. I’m so glad I had the surgery, and I’m so pleased for all it has done for me. I wouldn’t want to take that away from me, no matter what. Aside from marrying my husband and moving far, far away from home, getting the gastric band is one of the best things I ever did for myself.
What are the three best things you have ever done for yourself? If you could go back in time knowing what you know now, what would you tell your past self? Would you want to share your secrets with your past self and change the future?
Kelly Osborne considering the gastric band for weight maintenance
by Christine on April 13th, 2011
filed under Eating Disorders, Gastric Banding Surgery, General Information
Kelly Osbourne: Gastric Band For TV Star Kelly Osbourne?
Monday April 11, 2011
KELLY Osbourne is desperate to stay slim.
According to a report from Britain’s Daily Star newspaper, the E! Fashion Police co-host is considering getting a gastric band surgery to maintain her svelte figure.
“Kel’s at her wit’s end over her weight and is worried she’s putting back all the pounds she fought so hard to lose,” a source said.
“She’s recently been on holiday and put on almost a stone (14 pounds) while enjoying herself. She got a bit of a shock when she got home and realized she couldn’t fit into her new clothes.
“Kelly knows a gastric band would be drastic but she’s desperate to keep the weight off. Being the face of Madonna’s range just adds more pressure. She’s scared of getting axed in favor of someone skinny if she puts on more weight.”
Kelly — who split with her last boyfriend Luke Worrall after he reportedly cheated on her with both men and women — recently revealed she wants to have a baby with her gay best friend, because her mother Sharon Osbourne would “love it”.
“I’m fed up with straight men — I’d love a baby with my gay best friend Nate,” Kelly told Closer magazine. “We’d be the perfect parents and my mum would love it!”
Kelly –- who is the new face of Madonna and her daughter Lourdes’ clothing line Material Girl — recently revealed she is dating 26-year-old musician Rob Damiani, but the pair are planning to take things slowly.
“It’s true, I’m having fun getting to know someone new,” she said. “I met Rob over in the UK recently, and I want to take things slowly, so that means keeping some things private.”
Source: http://www.showbizspy.com/article/230375/kelly-osbourne-gastric-band-for-tv-star-kelly-osbourne.html
Why do I bring this bit of drivel up? I think this article is interesting for two reasons. Firstly, it’s interesting that a doctor would consider performing gastric banding surgery on Kelly Osborne when she is under the BMI criteria, which is currently 40. (In the USA the current minimum BMI is 40. Likewise, in the UK, the NHS requires a 40 minimum BMI) Kelly is not currently overweight, so she doesn’t need the surgery in order to lose the weight. Interesting.
(Read a recent and related article about using the gastric band as a weight maintenance tool here.)
Secondly, the idea of using the gastric band for weight maintenance is an interesting one. In my own experience, the reason why I chose the gastric band is because hopefully the device will allow me to maintain my weight without the need for a yo-yo weight gain/loss for the rest of my life. I’ve done the whole yo-yo thing and it sucks. The gastric band really does give me some kind of peace of mind that I can lose weight and keep the weight off.
So should a major surgery like this be used simply for weight maintenance? Why not? Other than the risks involved in the actual surgery, I don’t see how it can hurt to put some measures in place to ensure that you can live a healthy lifestyle for the long term.
But I want to take this even a step further: I think that the gastric band can be a successful device for treating those suffering from eating disorders, especially binge eating disorder and perhaps even bulimia. The band prevents binging from occurring (seriously. You just can’t overindulge in a short time frame with a tight gastric band), so why can’t the device be used to help those suffering from binging-related disorders? Hmmmm. Food for thought.
What do you think about using the gastric band or other weight loss devices in order to maintain your weight? What do you think about the idea of using the gastric band for treatment of some eating disorders?
New weight loss device: Abiliti
by Christine on April 8th, 2011
filed under Christine's Life Updates, Gastric Banding Surgery
There’s a new weight loss device out there on the market.
It’s called Abiliti and it’s basically a kind of electro-shock therapy to make you stop eating. There are sensors attached to the outer wall of your stomach. After you eat something, the food detection senor signals the gastric stimulator. The stimulator then sends low energy electrical impulses to the stimulation electrode, making you feel full, and thereby making you eat less. The activity sensor, contained in the stimulator, tracks your exercise, activity, and sedentary periods. It’s kind of like the BodyBugg, except built-in, without the arm band and wires.
The surgery is much like the gastric band insofar as it is an easy laproscopic procedure with minimal surgical risk. I think it is too soon to tell what the long-term effects of the surgery are, including what its success rates are.
This device is not yet approved in the USA but is being used in Europe.
More information about the Abiliti device can be found here.
Here is an article about the device.
The importance of making yourself at home
by Christine on January 27th, 2011
filed under Christine's Life Updates
I started a new job after new years in January, so I’ve been working here for almost a month. This week I brought in some photos to hang on my office walls. I hung six pictures up, and my office is starting to look a little more like home. I still need a little greenery and maybe a coat rack, but it’s a little more cozy than before.
Hanging up photos in my office makes me smile, because it’s an indication that I like my job, and I plan on being here for a long haul. I hated my last job, and it’s really no wonder that it took me about 7 months to hang a picture on the wall. I think I knew, subconsciously, that the last job wasn’t for me, and similarly I think I know now that this job is a really good fit for me.
In the same vein, I think that for the weight-loss game, it’s important to “make yourself at home,” too. Remember that this is a long journey, and a long haul. Just like work, you’re going to have good days and bad days. If you make yourself at home in your weight-loss journey, it’s going to be a more comfortable experience and help you remember that this is a long-distance journey, not a metaphorically short sprint to the finish line.
So how can you make yourself at home in your weight loss journey? Here are a few ideas:
- Post pictures of you at your thinnest on the refrigerator for constant reminder.
- Hang up a “goal weight dress” (or suit, for you men) on the back of your bathroom door
- Post inspirational quotes on your bathroom mirror once a week. (You can write on your mirror with a dry/erase marker easily)
- Ask your friends to help encourage you and keep you on track.
- Bring a lock to the gym and leave some items in a locker there. That’s your home-away-from-home now.
- Get to know a grocery store cash register check-out person on a first-name basis. Tell him/her about your weight-loss journey. Then, when you go to the grocery store and check out with your new friend, it’ll be a little more cozy, and your new friend will be checking out your food purchases to make sure you’re staying on the diet.
Do something a little silly, a little fun to keep your weight loss journey fresh and new. And remember…if you slip backwards, it’s not the end of the world! Remember, you’re at home with your new badassed self now, so give yourself a hug, then get up and get back on track.
Trying on my wedding dress
by Christine on December 22nd, 2010
filed under Christine's Life Updates
One of the things I have been looking forward to is trying on my wedding dress to see how it feels on a much-thinner body.
Buying a wedding dress was an absolutely horrible experience for me. I went to every single wedding dress shop in the entire Upstate New York area and never found a dress that looked okay on me. Part of the problem is that most of the try-on dresses are only in a Size 6, and I was a Size 18 at the time, which means that the dresses wouldn’t even get past my boobs or hips. It was impossible to see if the dress would work for me or not. David’s Bridal had dresses on the rack in a Size 18, but they all looked hideous on me. I ended up buying an okay dress at a consignment shop (for $150), but every time I took self-pictures of me in the dress, all I saw was how fat I was. I bought a total of three wedding dresses (all very cheap, don’t worry), and hated every single one of them. I reached the point where I was more than willing to spend THOUSANDS of dollars on a dress, just so long as I loved it and loved how I felt in it. I started going to really expensive wedding dress stores, but since I couldn’t even get the dresses over my head, it was impossible to see if the dress was nice on my body or not.
It didn’t help that I did all my wedding dress shopping alone. Every single one of those 10,000 stores I went to, I went to alone. I didn’t have anyone there with me to hold my hand, be a voice of reason, to tell me that “well, that wedding dress might work for you.” I was all alone, and I think that compounded the sadness of the wedding dress shopping experience.
In short, wedding dress shopping was an utterly miserable experience. I cried more in those few months than I have in my whole life. I put off the wedding for as long as I could. I thought about canceling our wedding plans. I talked to my soon-to-be husband about the idea of eloping in Vegas so we could wear Jeans and T-Shirts, anything to prevent the horrible wedding dress thing from happening.
We got married on a cruise ship, so it was a very low-key ceremony. I eventually found a dress that I thought looked tolerably okay on me. It was a prom dress from JC Penny ($60). When I see photos of our wedding, all I can remember is that horrible wedding dress experience, and how terribly unhappy I was with my body.
There are two things I couldn’t wait to do when I lost all this weight. The first thing was to try on that Size 18 JC Penny dress again and see how it looks on me now!
The second thing is…for our 10th wedding anniversary, I want to renew our vows, but I want to buy a real wedding dress to wear, and I want to feel pretty and sexy in it!
We got married less than 3 years ago, just a few months before my gastric banding surgery. 102 pounds later…what a difference it has made! Here are some pictures from yesterday!
(That picture above is me trying to bunch the dress up so it seems to fit a little better!)
Man, that felt REALLY good. I think I finally won the war with the wedding dress. Sure, a bit belated, but I finally did it. Take that, evil wedding dress!
