Had a “huh” moment.

by Christine on August 23rd, 2011

filed under Christine's Life Updates

Yesterday hubby and I went out for drinks & dinner with my friend Billi and her soon-to-be husband Michael. Billi mentioned something about my weight loss and that someone mentioned & noticed how much weight I had lost. (Yay, that’s so nice to hear! Thank you!)

But then she mentioned something about me needing to be done now, and I just kind of blurted out, I’d like to lose another 20 pounds. She looked at me like I was growing horns out of my ears or something.

“WHAT?” she asked me. “No way!”

What do you mean no way? I’m about 7 pounds up from my goal weight, so that is nearly half the weight right there.  And at 5’2 and 132 pounds I have a BMI of 24 pounds. Which is, yes, in that ideal healthy range, but only a  mere 2 BMI points away from being in the “Overweight” category. I’m on the cusp. It seems to me that a more reasonable place to be is right in the middle of “healthy,” which is a BMI of 21.5, which means I need to weigh…that’s right….117 pounds.  That’s about 15 pounds away from where I am right now.

Okay, so I modify my statement from yesterday. I guess I want to lose 15 pounds.

But does that make me a freak? Like, does that deserve a reaction like I’m growing horns? I don’t think so, but maybe it’s my eating disorderly past speaking up in my ear.

Or maybe it’s because I was so recently Obese…perhaps if a healthy woman who has been at a healthy 130 pounds all her life said that she wanted to lose a few pounds, maybe that would be acceptable, but for someone to have recently lost 100 pounds…now THAT is unreasonable to want a little more?

I’m not really sure. There seems to be a dichotomy about expectations floating around there, and I find it really weird.

Not that it really matters all that much. All that really matters is what I want; everyone else’s opinions are really kind of pointless in this matter. Except maybe my doctor, who gets to decide if I get a fill or not. His opinion matters, I suppose.

I’m leaving for a little trip tomorrow. I’m going to see my parents for the first time all year! I’m packing 3 pairs of workout clothes. Either I will go to their beautiful fitness club, I’ll play tennis, I’ll swim, I’ll go for a bike ride…no matter what, I want to stay active! I’m really looking forward to it!

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