More VICTORY pictures!!!

by Christine on December 18th, 2010

filed under Christine's Life Updates, General Information

I woke up and weighed myself first thing. I saw 124.6 on the scale. I’ve lost 100.4 pounds (I’ll round up and say 101 pounds.)

I promptly took a shower and had a nice long cry. Lots of emotions floating around in there….

I decided I would actually do my hair and makeup and try to look decent for the big day.

I went out to run some errands.I wanted a cup of coffee, so I stopped at McDonalds and got myself a free Mocha with a coupon.

I wanted to try on some dresses, so I played dress-up at JC Penny. (I bought a pair of blue jeans, on sale. They were a size 4 because apparently JC Penny doesn’t sell sizes lower than 4. I think a size 2 would have fit better.) These dresses were size 2s.

It was after lunch, and I was hungry. I decided to go to Wendy’s for a cheeseburger. I hadn’t had a cheeseburger since August!  I ended up eating about 1/3 of it.

I came home and put together that snazzy, silly video I posted the other day. Scroll down to watch it!

Then I went out to pub trivia with hubby & friends. Up to this point I hadn’t told anyone that I had met my goal weight. So, for our trivia name I chose “I lost 101 pounds today!”  When the Trivia DJ announced our team name at halftime, Hubby said, “Hey, congrats!” but then immediately went back to his conversation about computers or whatever.

I felt very dejected. Unimportant. Like my achievement meant nothing to my friends or family. I was very upset. I still am.

I had dinner at the pub and had a small cup of creamy mushroom soup, very very salty. And a diet coke.

When we came home hubby and I went into our hot tub and I told him that I was feeling sad and dejected. He was sad for me, and since then he’s made a better attempt to say “congrats” to me.

And that was pretty much it. My big Victory day.  Having such supportive messages to my post the other day meant A LOT to me. It’s really weird and horrible that my friends and family have been like “whatever” to my victory. I think I was expecting a reception akin to The Biggest Loser finale…you know, the contestants come home, and all their friends and family are there to pat them on the back and say “wow” and “we’re so proud of you.” Yeah, none of that for me. I shouldn’t be surprised at the lack of reaction, but it still hurts my feelings. It reinforces that I’m doing this for ME, not for anyone else.

My goal for reaching my ultimate goal was a trip to Vegas, which I will do, but later when I start my job and have more money. So, as a consolation prize, yesterday I went to the local casino (there’s one up in Saratoga) and I pissed away $20, then went out for some drinks with a new girlfriend. It was fun to go out, and I felt a little better about my victory.

It just didn’t play out the way I wanted it to or expected it to, you know?

This morning I weighed in at 124.0.

I’m going to have to wrap my head around this idea of “maintenance,” now.  That is going to be quite a challenge for me; I’ve been trying to lose weight for so many years, it’s all I know how to approach my self-image and relationship with food.

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