by Christine on July 28th, 2010
The old Christine would have been in a frenzy. The old Christine would have been mumbling, “committment” in her own ear, scolding herself for being “weak,” and anxious because this “didn’t fit in with the plan.” The old Christine was the same person that dieted for years and never lost the weight. That obsessed over losing weight, did research, saw seven doctors for help. The same person that beat herself up every night when, finished tallying the calorie counts for the day, saw that she went over by 20 calories, or had more carbs than she should have. In short: the old Christine was a mental train wreck of depression, anxiety, and frustration.
The new Christine doesn’t approach weight loss the same way, but the difference is that this time the weight loss is working. You see, if you follow the 8 easy secrets to losing weight, you’ll notice that Rule #1 says that this whole “weight loss thing” should be easy. If you’re stressing, losing sleep, feeling anxious, or mentally beating yourself up, then your plan definitely is not going to work, and it’s probably not working at all right now anyway because it’s intrisically flawed.
I do the best I can. Whenever I get a free day at home, I go to the gym. I work out hard, and I try to get the best calorie-burning bang for my buck. I also try to eat well, but you know, sometimes I just crave some chocolate or a beer. And all of that is okay, but this time I’m changing. I’m giving myself some leeway. I’m allowing myself to be human. I’m allowing myself to enjoy life. I’m..well…giving myself allowances all over the freaking place.
I don’t want you to get the impression that I’m lackadaisical about this, or that I don’t care, or that I’m not committed. I’ve lost just about 90 pounds, and I’ve got 10 more to go and I’m going to get there, goddammit, come hell or high water. But the process this time is much different. It’s….easier. It’s the only way I can explain it. I do my best, I’m conscious of what I’m doing (and what I’m not doing) all the time. But if I want to go out for a beer and listen to a concert, like I will tonight, then that’s okay. It’s okay because it’s one beer. It’s okay because my mental health is just as important to me than my physical health. It’s okay because I know this is a lifestyle change, not a diet. It’s not a sprint to lose those 10 pounds as fast as I can. No, I’m losing slowly but steadily, and that’s okay.
I’ll get to my goals, but I’m going to have a wonderful time getting there.