My most embarrassing “band” experience yet!

by Christine on November 21st, 2011

filed under Christine's Life Updates, Gastric Banding Surgery

Oh lord! I honestly wasn’t going to tell a single soul about this experience, it was SO embarrassing! But since this is a blog about my gastric band and weight loss, I figure it was worth sharing, in the hopes that you can avoid making the same mistake someday.

This weekend we went to the symphony. Hubby’s friends are professional violin/viola players.  They are pretty amazing musicians….One is probably going to transfer from the Philadelphia Symphony to the Boston Symphony (he got an offer, just needs to decide what he’s doing) and his wife plays private engagements, such as the United Nations and White House dinners, etc.  They’re exceptionally talented, and they were playing this weekend as soloists with our local symphony, so of course we had to go see them play!

We were seated in the 3rd row, super close to the stage! My seat was exactly center, so I had about 10 people on either side of me.

At intermission I was starving, so I bought a small package of peanuts and scarfed them down. I was talking with friends and not paying attention to what I was doing. Big mistake, of course.

We sat back down in our seats, the lights went down, and the orchestra picked up. Our musician friends came on stage and wow, they were incredible!

And then I noticed that my peanuts were stuck. I started swallowing really heavily. I was having a hard time breathing. My eyes started to water. Classic “stuck” signs.

I thought maybe it was just a minor episode, and that if given enough time it would pass on its own.

Nope, no such luck.

At one point I looked around in panic, looking for an escape. At the end of the 10 people in our row to my right was our friend who just had foot surgery and is walking around on crutches. He can’t get up and let me out.  On the other side of the row of 10 people to my left were these little old 90 year old people that were having problems getting around.

Oh no.

I was trapped. Literally.

The saliva was building up, so I started considering my options. I had possession of a nearly-empty water bottle, so I thought I’d give that a try. I leaned over, pretending to put something in my purse, and did a dainty little barf into the bottle.

Success!

I sat up. Recapped the bottle. Put it under my seat.

And then I started sliming again. You guys know who have bands….I had gotten rid of the saliva that was built up, but I didn’t get rid of the actual blockage. I started to get backed up again.

Oh no.

Panic. I looked around for escape, but came to the same conclusion that I was trapped. Well, the bottle worked one time, it would surely work again. Right?

I leaned over and let it go.

It was like a geyser, you guys. Like some kind of freaking poltergeist decided to give my stomach an old heave-ho. A jet-explosion of foamy saliva-y barf erupted, filled up that bottle in about 2 seconds, and then overflowed. On my hands. On the seat! OMG! On the floor! On my pant leg! On my shoes! OH NO!

I kicked hubby’s jacket out of the way just in the nick of time. I sat there leaned over, looking at the mess I just made, trying to rub my slimy hands off on my pants legs, trying to scrub the side of the newly renovated theater seats with my sweater sleeve.

Look, it was peanuts. And you gastric banders know….if I had eaten chocolate or tomato soup or something else that has a dark color…it would have been a far worse scenario. As it was, it was mostly clear and foamy, and certainly didn’t show up as a stain on my clothes or anything. Maybe that’s the silver lining of this story?

OMG!

Apparently I was discrete enough that my friend sitting to my right didn’t have any clue what happened. And my hubby on my left wouldn’t have known either except that I told him to get his jacket out of the way. I was mortified.

First rule of thumb when going to the theater: (1) Don’t eat or drink ANYTHING.

Second rule of thumb: (2) NEVER get trapped on the inside again.

 

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  • BG L

    LOL…I’m laughing WITH you. 

  • Amanda Evert

    Man, this reminds me of the time I was stuck in traffic with no escaspe in a coughing episode and had nothing to barf in cept my lap!! (oh wait, that just happened too!) love it!

  • Robyn’s Nest

    Oh man, that sounds horrible.  At least no one noticed.

  • http://onmyweightohappiness.blogspot.com/ Sarah

    Oh my heaven’s I am so sorry that happened to you, and in public! So glad no one noticed it was happening, far less embarrassing that way!

  • http://onmyweightohappiness.blogspot.com/ Sarah

    Oh my heaven’s I am so sorry that happened to you, and in public! So glad no one noticed it was happening, far less embarrassing that way!

  • Mary

    Thanks for sharing – I feel like I should confess my most recent public incident!!  I was traveling in a car with my sis in law and got stuck on food.  Since I couldnt get up and walk, I had the typical dread feeling – no way out!  However a paper bag was available and going about 75 mph I was getting rid of that darn chicken piece!  As if that wasn’t bad enough, on our return trip home I had to stop for gas and my SIL was helping me clean out the car and picked up “the bag” that I had folded and put in the back floor!!! YIKES!  Don’t Touch That!!   too late….   we still laugh about that!