Monday Morning Blues

by Christine on July 11th, 2011

filed under Christine's Life Updates, Gastric Banding Surgery

It’s Monday and I’m feeling quite scattered.

Surgery-wise, I think I’m doing okay. I seem to be healing, which is good. There does not seem to be any noticeable thing wrong with my stomach, like infection or anything like that. I am sore, and when my pain medication wear off I can really tell how achy I still am! I’m trying to wean myself off the pain meds today, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to go through with it…I’m feeling quite achy already.

My weight is stable from a week ago; I’m at 134, which is nine pounds higher than my goal weight. This is not good, and I look forward to receiving a LARGE fill from my doctor when I see him next week. Today I went to wear a pair of black dress slacks (Size 4) and was unable to put them on. I need to get my Size 6 clothes out of storage, apparently because my fat ass isn’t fitting into my current clothes. Isn’t that depressing? Holy moses.

And this weight gain is doing wonky things to my brain. I FEEL incredibly fat. In fact, I feel as fat right now as I ever did at my Highest Weight. I know that is silly to feel the same way–after all, I’m still 90 pounds less than my Highest Weight!–but the feeling is the same. I feel mega, orka fat.  It is a very unpleasant feeling.

I am not eating poorly. On the contrary; I have been eating quite healthfully, actually. Grilled chicken, salad, fresh veggies. In fact, my band is a little loose on me right now, so I’ve been indulging in vegetables that I can’t normally eat. I can’t wait to tighten my band up though and drop these pounds. I hate feeling this way.

I’m very dizzy and can barely see straight, and I only had a half a painkiller this morning instead of my usual 2 pills. Oy, this is going to be a very long day at work I think.

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  • http://onmyweightohappiness.blogspot.com/ Sarah

    Isn’t it crazy now how a few pound weight gain makes us feel like a whale? I am going through the same exact thing lately and trying to keep myself motivated and staying positive, but it’s hard. I just keep telling myself this is a phase and I will over come it, along with a few people telling me to not look at what’s going on the last few weeks but to look at overall what I have done and how far I have come.
    Is the gain from your surgery, the swelling and what not?

  • Karenogle133

    Christine, I’m sorry you are feeling so bad. I’m sure the weight gain doesn’t help but they may be bothering you more because you just had surgery. Surgery sometimes comes with depression and I’m sure you will be able to get back to your fighting weight as soon as you heal and get a fill. Try not to stress too much about it. I’m glad you seem to be healing well. 

  • Bigclydesdale

    Oooh…sounds like a tough day.  How’d it go?

  • http://lapbandgalsjourney.blogspot.com Lapbandgal

    Uh Oh…Tough day….hang in there.  :) HUGS