I can see my vagina!

by Christine on October 7th, 2010

filed under Christine's Life Updates, Gastric Banding Surgery

So there’s a few strange things about losing weight that I never really anticipated when I started this journey. 94 pounds later, and sooooo close to my goal weight, I’ve discovered:

  • My vagina. Seriously, I have one. And I kinda have an idea what it looks like, without the need to either straddle a hand mirror or lift about 40 pounds of lower-belly fat to find it.  Perhaps I’ll start waving to it, talking to it, maybe writing odes to it. It’s a like a new visitor ’round here. “Hi!!!”
  • My armpits. I had no idea that when you are fat, your armpits are kind of flat-ish.  When you lose weight, your armpits turn into these great big cavernous divits. And shaving is a MASSIVE pain in the ass. I’m constantly missing spots because of the divits. Or because the razor seems suddenly very large. Armits. Gnar.
  • Hipbones. I like to sleep on my side, and my hips dig into my ultra-super-fluffy mattress and HURT. What the flying fuck is up with that? I wake up sore as hell, my hips throbbing from sleeping on them.
  • My boobies. Two strange things have happened with my ta-tas.  First, I USED to have really big boobies–Double Ds, I think, I never really got fitted properly for a bra at my heaviest. Man, have my boobies shrunk since losing weight! I’m probably a B now, but I have all kinds of loose skin, so if you try to shove the extra skin into a bra cup, then it sort of fills out a C. Without a bra, my boobs droop and sag like dried up udders. It’s really quite awful!!  I think I can twirl them around and lasso a small cat if I wanted to, they are just loose flaps of skin.  The last few days I’ve discovered some other new phenomena with my boobs. I remember when I was gaining weight…my boobs became less sensitive. It’s like you have a set number of nerve endings in your boobs, and as your ta-tas get bigger, the nerve endings get spread out, so they are less sensitive. Now that my boobs have shrunk, they have become MORE sensitive. In a really good way. I like it, a lot.  I assume this is not uncommon with women who have lost weight? (Anyone care to “weigh in” on the topic?)  Welcome back, nerve endings.

So there you go. A few things I didn’t really realize about weight loss that I’ve recently discovered on my body. They are not all good — such as the shriveled up boobies. But you know what? It’s totally worth it, in the end, to be thinner. Every “bad” thing is liveable and totally worth going through this journey. I am still very, very grateful.

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  • MrsFatass

    Yay for seeing your hoohah! Boo for droopy udders!

    You know, I’ve seen posts from time to time where men have rediscovered their tallywhackers, but I never really thought about that phenomenon in terms of us ladies. So the next time you say hi to the hootenanny, give her a wave from MrsFatass too!

  • http://notjustcelery.wordpress.com Karen @ Not Just Celery

    Hahahaha totally agree about the armpits…shaving is so annoying now! lol…glad I’m not the only one!

  • Debbie Lowe

    Okay, you made me laugh like hell. I needed that today. I love the boobie thing.. Thank you…

  • Colls

    I really can’t wait to see my vajayjay! Congrats and thanks for sharing! <3

  • Rachelthinwithin1

    Love the honesty of your blog! Congrats and thanks for sharing. Your blog has been a guidebook for me since I got banded 9/15/2010. I keep reading, “How I lost 90 lbs”…it is my guidebook. Rachel (aka alice)

  • Brigitte

    The boobies are the first thing I am fixing when I hit goal. I could care less about the batwings or the tummy, I want my boobs back!!

  • islandbandit

    you had me laughing out loud with this one. thanks for sharing!

  • Libby

    You crack me up! I thought I was the only one who had lost the sensation in my tatas. I never associated it with weight gain but I guess it makes sense. Looking forward to feelin’ the tingle again.

    I wonder if I could gather an entire group of bandsters and see if we could get a doc to give us a bulk price on boob lifts?

  • Crazyfatgirl

    LMAO!!! I want to tell you that you are outrageous and crazy, but then I recalled sitting on the john this morning thinking that I can almost see pubes while sitting. I have had two c-sections and obviously was heavy, so my belly hangs over the scar and hide the pubes… or should I saw afro? haha

  • Dr. Fatty

    You’re so funny! I discovered my vagina in the mirror the other day. No longer covered with hanging down belly fat. I was like, Well HELLO there! I have no idea how long it’s been since I could do that. And my boobs feel so different. So much lighter. if only my ass would follow.

  • Halfof360

    Talk about an attention getting blog post title! Congratulations, I think! LOL

    Tony B. @ Half of 360
    halfof360.blogspot.com

  • MizFit08

    BEST TITLE EVER and yet such a great raw honest post to go along with it too.
    the rare double whammy.

    Miz.

  • http://www.heathersbandedjourney.com Heather

    You mean it is still down there? Wow what a concept. I can’t wait!

  • Patrick

    Christine, what a great public service announcement of a blog post this is…

    For the new comer to weight loss here this post can serve as buffet of things to come. Thus perhaps they can prepare a bit for the ‘changes’ to come. Now when they rediscover their ‘V’, they won’t get scared and wonder WTF is that! And they have time now to properly research the razors used buy the heatly. Mattresses may treat us differently when fit & trim, who knew. Now they have more time to try new sleeping posisitons and transition into them. And from what I read many women are looking forward to the reduction upstairs; and you can bet us men look forward to losing our moobs. Still, lasso a cat? There is a mental image that’ll take some time to shake.